You can figure 25-30 years storage life for hard red wheat, stored at 60 degrees in a 55 gallon drum, using 1 pound of dry ice to drive out the oxygen (wait 24hrs for the dry ice to “melt” before sealing the drum). 400 pounds of wheat per drum equals 400 man-days of calories, and costs you about $100. Fill 3-4 barrels. It’s Cheap insurance. Add a barrel of Winter Rye for variety. Add a barrel of oats. Then a couple barrels of WHITE rice, and 2-3 barrels of pinto beans. (You need the beans to balance what’s missing from the grains. The beans may be harder to rehydrate after 10-12 years without a pressure cooker, but then you just grind up the dried beans, and bake them in your bread.) For around $1000, you can be prepared to feed your family for close to a decade, if you also garden, keep chickens, and have fruit trees and bushes. Honey is way too expensive to store on a dollar/calorie basis, but consider bee keeping. A drum takes up LESS than 2’X2’. And they stack nicely, at 33” tall. In a 2’X10′ strip along a basement wall, you can have 10 barrels with 4000 pounds of food. Hang a peg board in front of it, and you’ve got very useful space. If you can’t spare that much space in your basement, to protect the lives of your family, think Venezuela .
The survivalist hard-on (yep, and I'll do it again, too) for prophylactics untouched by chemical pleasure-enhancers is the result of drilling deep (told you) into the magical properties of our latex friends. According to our research, these flexible, durable, waterproof wonders will be as much of a deciding factor in your dystopian longevity as fire and can openers.
When most people start thinking about family preparedness, they focus on food. Not shelter, gear, sanitation, power, self-defense or the myriad of other concerns that need to be addressed following an emergency or disaster situation. Quite simply, food is the number one concern people have second only to their concern for having an adequate supply of water.
And it's not all about dying, too: a nasty toothache or a debilitating allergy can make it very difficult to stay productive and alert. With all that in mind, my list of essential and easily available prepper medicines includes ibuprofen ($10, pain relief), cetirizine ($15, allergy management), amoxicillin ($15, broad-spectrum antibiotic), loperamide ($10, anti-diarrheal), meclizine ($7, prevents vomiting), miconazole nitrate ($10, treats fungal skin infections), bacitracin ointment ($5, bacterial skin infections), topical lidocaine ($20, anesthetic), and hydrocortisone cream ($6, anti-itch). For disinfecting your hands and cleaning wounds, benzalkonium chloride wipes ($4) can work pretty well; for burns, many people swear by hydrogel dressings ($5) or hydrogel creams ($13), too. Finally, for treating severe dehydration, try oral rehydration packs ($30).
This one is pretty obvious, but it stands repeating.  When building a stockpile, you want to stick to items that will be able to last on your shelf.  Items like canned vegetables, canned fruit, jars of peanut butter, jerky, and beans are excellent choices for a stockpile, in addition to household items like toothpaste, soap, conditioner, paper towels, and toilet paper.

And, of course, people aren't going to stop wanting to get drunk just because they can't pop over to the corner bodega for a six pack whenever the urge strikes. Portability and long shelf-life make liquor of all types a valuable trade good -- people will kill to get a taste of the delicious bottom-shelf leftovers from your local dive bar when their only other option is the equivalent of prison wine.


All right. Financial systems are messy. Fiat money and fractional-reserve banking, although wildly successful, can fail in interesting and horrific ways. Foreign trade, neglected here but absolutely vital for most European countries, adds even more variables to the mix. So, let's talk about what can be done to protect your rainy-day funds against some of the most likely or most talked-about risks.
Chapter 1 talks about things we have learned from historical events that can help us prevent future repeats. Jim discusses, at length, pandemics, famine, economic collapse and other freak occurrences, their impact on society, and how we handled those situations. Speculating an EMP, he says it could occur either by nuclear detonation, or a geomagnetic storm sent via the sun. If you don’t think either of these things are possible, I urge you to research both. Both are more possible than you may imagine. The chapter ends with information on war and terrorism, covering information from Pearl Harbor to 9/11.

When you’re preparing for the moment that SHTF, you need to have a handle on situations you’ll encounter, as well as the best tools and supplies. You also need to get into the right mindset. The Atomic Bear has put together this preppers guide, which will teach you how to plant a prepper garden, put together a go-bag, and the other survival skills you need to know. We’ve also got a meticulously curated collection of survival gear that’ll give you the foundation for what it takes to survive. Follow our blog, and stay tuned for more content to come.
What programs like Doomsday Preppers have accomplished, or at least contributed to, is turning sometimes well-informed, sometimes totally unwarranted paranoia into a booming prepper-industrial complex. Each year, swap meets pack hundreds of convention centers and fairgrounds across the nation—they’re like camping shows with a dose of military surplus and hands-on instructional sessions. The September 2017 Kansas City Survival Expo & Gun Show, for instance, had tips on seed saving, “Overcoming 900 Health Diseases” and “A Devastating Street Self-Defense System.” The latter was taught by Norman Cantwell, who inspired Patrick Swayze’s character in Roadhouse. You get the feeling that he and Steven Seagal would be friends. 

Now, a word of caution: beware of debt. Many of us are taught that owing money is normal, even desirable; indeed, for middle-class folks, some forms of indebtedness may be difficult to avoid. But unnecessarily accrued debt cuts into your bottom line in two insidious ways. First of all, monthly installment payments limit your flexibility in an emergency - so if your income shrinks, your savings will be depleted at a merciless and non-negotiable rate. Secondly, high-interest loans, such as credit cards, amount to giving out a good chunk of your income without earning anything useful in return. They are akin to voluntarily accepting a pay cut.


Bare hands. No deterrent effect, but surprisingly effective when a confrontation can't be avoided - especially when facing a single assailant. Reserved for people who are physically fit and willing to invest a fair amount of time into training. One of the most pragmatic and widely-taught schools is Krav Maga, and there's certainly no harm in checking it out.

The No. 1 emergency that most people are going to face is a financial problem, and that isn’t necessarily gonna be the collapse of the American economy. It’s more likely that someone in your family will lose their job, or you’ll have a huge medical expense that you weren’t expecting and can’t pay for. I’m a single parent. About 10 years ago, I lost my job. The fact that my pantry had enough food for several months meant I was able to use my savings and my unemployment payment to keep my mortgage paid.
You'll find staples like powdered butter, freeze-dried meats, cereals, grains, pasta, fruits and vegetables, and baking ingredients. They also offer a great selection of entrees, including popular Mountain House meals like turkey tetrazzini, rice pilaf, and sweet and sour pork. Many of these are included in their emergency kits that will keep you fed for days or months at a time.

This, of course, is easier said than done. We tend to scale up our living expenses in proportion to earned income, so even in the $100k+ bracket, people living paycheck-to-paycheck are not a rare sight. And it's usually not the big-ticket stuff that gets them: we're far more likely to overspend on all the smaller, habitual purchases, because their cumulative cost is less apparent - and potential savings are much easier to miss. The patterns to look for will depend on your lifestyle and on how much you make, but here are several suggestions for where to search for that 10%:
While all plastic will eventually leach into the food product, if you cycle what you are storing out at least every six months, it should not be a problem. Plastic containers are great because they do not break as easily as glass, are cheap, and are reusable. If the plastic containers you are using are clear, it is best to store them in a dark closet or room so the light will not degrade your food storage.

Three is the luckiest number when it comes to prepping. There’s the old saying, “One is none, two is one, three is better.” There’s the Survival Rule of Three which is that you can hang on for “3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, and 3 weeks without food.” And then there’s the approach that in all things survival, you need a layer of three, including food storage.


When buying food, don't fall for "diet", "reduced fat", "low sugar", or "low carbs" ice cream, yogurts, cakes, pizza, pasta, and so on - the differences are so minor that you might as well have the real thing and stop fooling yourself. Watch out for deceptive portion sizes, too. For example, Cheetos are labeled as 150 kcal per "serving", but there are almost 10 servings in a regular bag! Frozen fries are another great example: they look pretty low-cal until you realize that a serving is just 10-15 pieces or so - certainly not enough to make you feel full.
I also began to realize that I needed to prep for something that's increasingly as likely as earthquakes: large-scale civil unrest, which I witnessed a taste of in the streets that night. I began to think of how people act when they're scared, including and especially law enforcement. I started to think about home security, transportation options if fuel was limited, how to access information without the internet. I studied natural disasters and their repercussions around the world as a way to understand how to keep myself and my community safer.

In many states, even with an uncontested will, it may take many months for the probate process to be wrapped up. If you are the sole provider for your family, make sure that they will have the means to survive in the meantime. The right kind of a shared bank account ("joint tenancy with right of survivorship") can do the trick. There are several other approaches to this problem, too, but they tend to be more dicey from the legal perspective - or more costly and more time-consuming to set up.


“How do I tell Dr. Norman Shealy that he was voted out of the meetup?” Finelli asks, rhetorically. “So I told him on-air. I said, ‘Dr. Shealy, they had a vote, and you were voted to be barred from the meeting.’ And he kind of laughed, and I said don’t get all excited, they banned me, too.” He holds no grudges; he says he’s actually glad it happened. Now he knows how his students really felt.
Generally speaking, the more outdoor experience you have, the fewer items you’ll need in your survival kit. Those who are quite skilled at starting campfires may not need to bring matches and emergency tinder; as a simple fire starter will suffice. Similarly, experienced outdoor enthusiasts may elect to bring items like garbage bags, rather than ponchos, as they can be used for a variety of different purposes, which outdoor novices are unlikely to have mastered.
41. Storage Tanks – Water storage tanks are important and can be anything from 1 gallon jugs to 50 gallon barrels or 2000+ gallon water tanks. An important concept is to have a ‘dirty’ water tank and a ‘clean’ water tank. So if you need to collect water from a nearby pond or river, you can store it first in the dirty tank and then filter it to the clean tank.
When activating the alarm, travel to the first marker and stay in that general location as a group. Life support will drop in other places in the map, so team coordination is critical to either move as a team to each, or have someone sprint to them, preferably someone with Loki or Ash, or by the use of Shade so they can pass by the hordes of enemies.
Advertising your wealth aside, another sure way to invite burglars is to make it seem that your house is unoccupied: packages piling up in front, an overflowing mailbox, an empty driveway, all lights turned off at night. Asking a neighbor to park a car in your driveway, putting some lights on a multi-cycle timer ($8), and having someone pick up your mail, are just several examples of low-cost solutions that are worth trying out whenever going on a longer trip.

The most popular category are semi-automatic rifles, including the scary-looking AR-15 clones, the much less villainous Ruger Mini-14, and a bunch of in-between choices, such as Ares SCR. All three are known for reliability and good accuracy. Semi-automatics typically fire relatively small but high-energy projectiles (e.g., .223 Remington / 5.56x45mm NATO); such projectiles are still suitable for home defense and hunting small to medium game.


Awesome article. Really useful tool for assessing where I am in the process. And planning the next step. Once again, Gaye, you give us the important information without the fear. Some walk away from the fear and don’t get started. Some, such as me, rush headlong into the fear and then have a panic attack. So the fear is not productive. I appreciate your style.
Welcome to CampingSurvival.com, proudly owned by JHL Supply, a veteran-owned, family-run business, established in 1956 in Upstate New York. We are your source for camping supplies, survival gear and survival food, regardless of your level of expertise or experience. So whether you are an emergency preparedness-minded individual interested in MRE (Meals Ready to Eat) and colloidal silver, a hardcore hiker in need of paracord, a water filter system and fire starter, or just need a basic first aid kit or emergency kit for the family, you've come to the right place. As you look around CampingSurvival.com's camping and survival equipment, you'll find that we provide a lot of insight and suggestions to supply and prepare you, so you're always ready for any disaster. However, if you have any questions, we encourage you to contact us, as we will be more than happy to answer them.
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Once you get going, it will be easy to lose track of what you already have.  The best way to overcome the state of confusion you will experience six months down the road is to start keeping track of your stored items now – from the beginning.  Use a spiral notebook, a computer spreadsheet, or a clipboard and a pad of paper.  Update your inventory with the item and date of purchase as it goes into storage and of course, mark it off as it rotates out.
Handguns. This category encompasses a wide selection of small, lower-powered firearms that can be easily carried without attracting attention. Most have a fairly modest stopping power, so-so ballistics, and require quite a bit of practice to accurately hit anything more than 10 yards away. A telling statistic is that in shootouts, the police have a hit rate somewhere between 10% and 30%; contrary to what some gun control supporters claim, an average policeman does not get that much practice, and probably trains less than your typical gun enthusiast - but these numbers are still something to keep in mind.
When you’re preparing for the moment that SHTF, you need to have a handle on situations you’ll encounter, as well as the best tools and supplies. You also need to get into the right mindset. The Atomic Bear has put together this preppers guide, which will teach you how to plant a prepper garden, put together a go-bag, and the other survival skills you need to know. We’ve also got a meticulously curated collection of survival gear that’ll give you the foundation for what it takes to survive. Follow our blog, and stay tuned for more content to come.
Only a small percentage of those with high blood pressure are salt sensitive and need to limit their intake. For those without high blood pressure or without that sensitivity, salt is not an issue. This is one of those media maintained myths, such as “eating eggs causes clogged arteries” and “low calorie low protein high sugar diet is great for you”.
I made the mistake of trying to wake people up to my concept of what the country was coming to. My view of shtf and how i thought it was going to happen. I also told people about my prepping and how i believed it would help. Now i’m pretty sure if anything did occur i would have a few or more uninvited guests. The one guy literally said “Im coming to your house if shit goes down” No the hell you aren’t. I tell people these things so they will prepare themselves. Or help them awaken to the things… Read more »

Another insidious distraction is the desire to immediately figure out how to respond to all the scenarios we end up dreaming of. Let's save that for later; by prematurely focusing on the second half of the problem, we may end up glossing over some of the less tractable scenarios - or make haphazard assumptions that will cloud our judgment in other ways.


When Survival missions become Nightmare Modes, players will receive both the Nightmare reward and the normal Survival mode reward when completing the mission. Note that even though Nightmare mode enemies are usually higher level, the Survival mode rewards will be based on the mission's original enemy levels. On the other hand, if there is an Alert Survival mission, players will only receive the specified Alert reward (extraction available at 10 minutes).
In the US, long guns are subject to fewer restrictions than handguns, chiefly because of their negligible role in street crime; that said, "assault weapons" - i.e., semi-automatic rifles with scary-looking cosmetic features, such as barrel shrouds or forward grips - have been a subject of recurring moral panics and various state- or municipality-level restrictions and bans.
I suspect that we dismiss such hazards not only because they seem surreal, but also because worrying about them makes us feel helpless and lost. What's more, we follow the same instincts to tune out far more pedestrian and avoidable risks; for example, most of us don't plan ahead for losing a job, for dealing with a week-long water outage, or for surviving the night if our home goes up in smoke.
Beyond this, stick to your favorite foods and don't feel pressured to skip regular meals - but cut all portions in half, even if it means throwing a half-eaten burger out. Don't go back for seconds, too. It will feel wrong the first couple of times, but it's surprisingly easy to do. That's because portion control is almost completely psychological; your blood hormone and nutrient levels go up only some time after you cleaned your plate. Eating more slowly can make this step a lot easier, too.
I emerged around eight the next morning to find Hall and Menosky in the common area, drinking coffee and watching a campaign-news brief on “Fox & Friends.” It was five days before the election, and Hall, who is a Republican, described himself as a cautious Trump supporter. “Of the two running, I’m hoping that his business acumen will override some of his knee-jerk stuff.” Watching Trump and Clinton rallies on television, he was struck by how large and enthusiastic Trump’s crowds appeared. “I just don’t believe the polls,” he said.
I wrote a blog on this a couple years ago for the Dallas preppers the place to go is Honeyville. Do the math and figure out protein, carbs, vegetables, and fruit per serving and order case lots. To pull together that much it’ll run you about $3000 and then you’ll have what you need. I parcel mine into tubs two tubs will feed a family of four a balanced diet of 1800 cal per day for a month. (See photo.)
Your run-of-the-mill shoe stank might not pose much of a survival threat, but trench foot certainly will; baking soda is great at absorbing the moisture that might otherwise literally cause your feet to rot off your legs. As for the health of your teeth -- it will be pretty hard to get through your day's rations of homemade jerky and hardtack without some high-quality chompers. And you certainly don't want to rely on that pesky fluoride that will "kill your brain over time" (um, what?).

Scott owns a nice bit of property in the county, over thirty acres, mostly wooded, on which he does some of his own hunting. He had an underground shelter installed somewhere on his land about 8 years ago, a choice that was precipitated by the economic downturn that coincided with Obama’s first term in office. It’s a rather large eight-person, three month shelter, that only his and Josh’s family know about. Even though it was a large investment for him, Scott believes a nuclear or biological threat is less likely that something more along the lines of an EMP strike or total economic collapse. Because of that, much of the shelter acts as secure storage space for a cache of items that would prove valuable in such a scenario: medicine, ammunition, shelf-stable food and common toiletries that will rapidly become luxury items in a post-apocalyptic world. Scott doesn’t think precious metals or cash will be much use if there is no economy to use them in.

Food prep gear. As discussed in section 4.3, one of the best ways to cook food or to sterilize drinking water on the go is to have several portable propane tanks, a miniature stove ($13), and a lightweight covered pot ($28). Some plastic dinnerware ($13) can be a nice touch. Make sure that the stove fits your propane tanks; you may need a Lindal valve adapter ($20) if not.
Hall got the idea for the project about a decade ago, when he read that the federal government was reinvesting in catastrophe planning, which had languished after the Cold War. During the September 11th attacks, the Bush Administration activated a “continuity of government” plan, transporting selected federal workers by helicopter and bus to fortified locations, but, after years of disuse, computers and other equipment in the bunkers were out of date. Bush ordered a renewed focus on continuity plans, and FEMA launched annual government-wide exercises. (The most recent, Eagle Horizon, in 2015, simulated hurricanes, improvised nuclear devices, earthquakes, and cyberattacks.)
I can’t emphasize enough that water is key to survival. Living near a lake,stream or river will certainly benefit your survival plans. Also your community will be paramount in overcoming any obstacles you may encounter if things go wonky. Medical knowledge can be found in Red Cross survival books, FEMA has a guide you can download and don’t forget the library or medical schools for info. I’m trying to locate a Grey’s Anatomy book, that and a PDR on pharmaceuticals. These could be a life saver if you had meds and didn’t know how to use them. Thinking outside the box could be your best prepping item.

For some, it’s just “brogrammer” entertainment, a kind of real-world sci-fi, with gear; for others, like Huffman, it’s been a concern for years. “Ever since I saw the movie ‘Deep Impact,’ ” he said. The film, released in 1998, depicts a comet striking the Atlantic, and a race to escape the tsunami. “Everybody’s trying to get out, and they’re stuck in traffic. That scene happened to be filmed near my high school. Every time I drove through that stretch of road, I would think, I need to own a motorcycle because everybody else is screwed.”


In addition to the dangers of poor financial planning and the ever-present specter of unintentional injury, another threat we should reckon with is becoming a victim of a crime. Although the risk is not as pervasive as the challenges discussed earlier in this chapter, it still earns a distinction as one of the things that many readers will almost certainly have to face at some point in their lives.
I do not mean to imply that any stage of prepping is a bad thing.  Not at all.  Rather, it is our duty to exercise our own free will to make preparedness decisions that bring sense to our unique situations.  There is no such thing as the one-size-fits-all Prepper.  You may reach a certain stage and feel very comfortable at that point. Not everyone can be a candidate for a reality show, nor does everyone want to do something like that.

Never put all your eggs in one basket. Store dehydrated and/or freeze dried foods as well as home canned and “store bought” canned goods.  These varieties will help to balance out your cooking options and even add a variety of textures and flavors.  Another take on this point, is to not store all of your food storage in one location.  Instead of having all of your food storage in one location, it may be wise to have other hiding locations.  False walls, under floor boards, another building on your property, at your emergency bug out location or even a storage facility.

Chances are that you have these foods in your kitchen right now, and you already intersperse them into your menus on a daily basis. I like to have at least – at least – a one month’s supply of these first layer foods. Having a supply that will see your family through at least a month means that a short-term emergency will hardly be noticeable to your family and that they’ll experience very little difference in the way they normally eat.


The very curious consequence of fractional-reserve banking was that it pulled new money out of thin air. The funds were simultaneously accounted for in the statements shown to the depositor, evidently available for withdrawal or transfer at any time; and given to third-party borrowers, who could spend them on just about anything. Heck, the borrowers could deposit the proceeds in another bank, creating even more money along the way! Whatever they did, the sum of all funds in the monetary system now appeared much higher than the value of all coins and banknotes issued by the government.
When Marvin Liao, a former Yahoo executive who is now a partner at 500 Startups, a venture-capital firm, considered his preparations, he decided that his caches of water and food were not enough. “What if someone comes and takes this?” he asked me. To protect his wife and daughter, he said, “I don’t have guns, but I have a lot of other weaponry. I took classes in archery.”

Just because we are all gonna die does not mean we need to eat junk …. ditch that high carb and super processed junk food. There are many choices of decent food out there … particularly the foods packed by Mormon canneries. Do a google search for where to find the best deals. Really, get rid of the raman noodles, progresso soups, spagetti-o and other junk … you’ll have enough problems living through SHTF without killing you gut microbio ….
So, let's start from the beginning! Throughout much of the recorded history, the monetary systems of the western world employed so-called commodity money, generally settling on coins minted out of silver or gold. The two metals were favored because of their nearly universal appeal, and because of their inherently constrained, labor-intensive supply. In this system, early prices likely reflected the worth of a particular good compared to the valuation of the coin as a non-monetary commodity. Over time, the exact "melt value" of the coins started to matter less, and the currency functioned as a more abstract medium of exchange - but its precious metal content stabilized the economy by ensuring that the coinage had an inherent and lasting value, even if the issuing state simply vanished from the map.

Is this a complete list of everything you will need to be fully prepared food-wise?  Heck no.  Are the quantities adequate to feed a family for a month, three months or longer?  Perhaps a month but not much longer.  Truthfully, for long term storage you need more food and more variety (read about the top survival food brands here) as well as some packaging methods (Mylar bags or buckets plus oxygen absorbers) to insure that your will food stay viable and pest free for years to come.

Buckets are great! We have some with regular lids. Some, that we would open frequently have the Gamma Seal lids. (These lids allow you to have a screw-on, airtight lid on the opened bucket, rather than having to pry off the bucket lid every time you need to access the food.) #10 cans are also good. Go to www.providentliving.org and look up food storage, then find information on the LDS Home Storage Centers. BTW, you do not need to be LDS to buy food there.
That question aside, the obvious peril of fiat money is that in the long haul, its value is determined strictly by people's willingness to accept a piece of paper in exchange for their trouble; that willingness, in turn, is conditioned solely on their belief that the same piece of paper would buy them something nice a week, a month, or a year from now. It follows that a simple crisis of confidence could make a currency nearly worthless overnight. A prolonged period of hyperinflation and subsequent austerity in Germany and Austria was one of the precipitating factors that led to World War II. In more recent times, dramatic episodes of hyperinflation plagued the fiat currencies of Israel (1984), Mexico (1988), Poland (1990), Yugoslavia (1994), Bulgaria (1996), Turkey (2002), Zimbabwe (2009), Venezuela (2016), and several other nations around the globe.
Kevin lives in eastern Washington and is prepping his family for a volcanic eruption using multiple bug-out vehicles. We also meet Captain Bill Simpson, who has built a bunker sailboat, made mostly of iron so that he could retreat out to sea in case of a massive solar flare which could send an energy wave, in the form of an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) which could damage today's technology.
Knives. Very lethal and dangerous at close quarters, but only provided that you have the element of surprise on your side. They require some degree of physical fitness and training to use well. Their value is diminished when facing multiple assailants or dealing with a gun-wielding individual: even if you stab them, you are probably still gonna get shot. In a handful of places, carrying a knife may be illegal or subject to somewhat confusing restrictions, so perform due diligence if you want to take this route.

Alas, most of the popular diets make this task awfully hard: they force their followers to abandon a lifetime of dietary habits, taste preferences, and eating schedules - and stuff themselves full of kale, turnips, quinoa, acai berry, or whatever else happens to be this week's "fat-fighting superfood". To add insult to injury, most of the nutrition fads are not actually backed by real, reproducible science; suffice to say that in the 70s, table sugar was widely touted as a dieting aid. Even today, weight loss advice tends to revolve around robustly debunked concepts - say, the existence negative calorie foods, the alleged superiority of low-carb but high-fat diets, the evils of HFCS and aspartame, or the significance of eating meals on a particular schedule thoroughout the day.


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When I started putting together my first survival kit, I just collected whatever weird stuff I could find—like tablets that would protect my thyroid from nuclear fallout. My mindset changed when my first daughter was born. I realized I needed a more practical end-of-the-world plan, with equipment that would be useful for things that might actually happen. Nuclear war is probably not in store for 2018, and if it is, I’ll just open a window. I don’t want to live through that.
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